Two years ago my life was radically different. I was
married and enjoying family life and everything that comes with it; hard work,
struggles, togetherness, traditions, laughter, and love. I built my life on a foundation
that consisted of all of these things. It was rock solid and gave me the safety
and security I needed to pursue the things I was passionate about. Nature, my
animals, and my spirituality.
I’ve written about my dad’s fight with cancer and his loss.
He’s been gone for 8 months now and the hurt is still fresh. When I close my
eyes I can still hear his voice and his gentle laughter. I can still feel his
arms around me and smell him. I laugh at his jokes and cry with his favorite
music. But the gift I’m grateful for is that with the strength that he gave me,
I was able to stand up and speak for him at his memorial. I was able to give a
tribute to a great man.
With this strength I was also able to endure a pain like no
other I can describe; the end of my own family as I knew it. Everything is what
it seems, until it’s not. What I thought was a rock began to erode and
eventually washed away like a sandcastle after an evening storm comes in and
everyone has left the beach. I experienced the ultimate betrayal in my
marriage. What I had always imagined to be the worst thing I could possibly
endure, I survived. It wasn’t pretty, it was far from pleasant, but I got
through it. Plus I lost the gift of seeing my daughter Lillian every day. I
wish I would have treasured each moment more.
Two years ago I had no idea what I could endure. And I didn’t
know that I could endure them all at the same time. But everything must end,
including this cycle of rough and relentless change. As the ink is drying on my
divorce, I’m celebrating being alive. What I went through is NOT going to take
me down.
So I am marking this time in my life by doing one thing I’ve
always wanted to do. I’m jumping from a perfectly good airplane.
Because, if I can survive all that, this should be a piece
of cake, right??
(for pics, video and an account of my experience, watch this
space)
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